Even before I became a professional dog trainer, I knew better.
I knew not to let people grab or squeal at or lower their head to approach or simply pet at will my new puppy as I took her to work and as we engaged in our daily walks. I knew allowing excited interaction was cause for a near future disaster. I knew that I wanted a dog that did not lose control when she saw people. I knew that I wanted her to listen to me when it was time to leave the company of said people.
And after becoming a professional dog trainer and having to help people repair or rebuild the damaged relationship that their dogs have towards people - whether it was fear or over-excitement or both - I can tell you it’s much harder to “fix” this damage than to develop that relationship properly. Even though…and I mean absolutely it WILL happen, not IF…people will literally call you names for refusing to let them play with, pet or otherwise distract your dog. In their embarrassment over getting caught in a selfish/rude act of touching something that didn’t belong to them, people will tell you how to socialize your dog, predicting you are causing them great harm. They will throw their dog training credentials at you with the books they’ve read or how they’ve treated their own dogs and they are great and you should listen to them, yada, yada, yada.
And you have the firm knowledge that they can just piss off. Or at least, I hope you do. You wouldn’t feel obligated to let people test drive your car if they simply complimented it. Nor would you likely feel that people were being polite if they started pulling out the groceries in the bags you were carrying from your car to your house just to see how awesome your dinner is going to be. I mean, if you struggle with that sense of personal boundary, maybe having a dog is too much for you…or maybe having a dog that can be negatively affected by that rudeness will give you a good kick in the pants. You decide.
You see, people somehow have it in their minds that if they like the look of your dog, whether they directly announce it to you or not, YOU - the owner and caretaker of that dog - are OBLIGATED to let them interact with your dog.
That’s a myth! That’s a myth that is perpetrated by selfishness of the awestruck person who attempts to engage with your dog, usually without your permission or even a greeting to acknowledge your existence. It’s also a very bad habit, because someday that self-indulgent stranger is going to be bitten. I’m kind of rooting for that in a behavioral point of view, but in a legal sense, especially here in California, this is very bad news for the dog and it’s owner. Even if it is the stranger’s fault for assaulting another person’s dog, the dog and the owner are put to blame and highly penalized. If this has happened more than once, i.e., your dog is particularly irresistible, the dog may be court-ordered PTS.
Speaking of myths! It’s an absolute myth that your dog will enjoy or like people more if they are “exposed” to more people. Here’s where this myth got started…it’s partially true, but only IF the environment of exposure is controlled and the amount of exposure is passive and progressive in intensity. In other words, short spurts of allowing a young dog to investigate people without people getting into their faces, grabbing them or making high pitched noises. Which brings me to a side note, I do like watching dog rescue videos except for one thing…all the DAMN high pitched googly talk or “it’s okay” repeated over and over. To a dog you sound like you’re whimpering or injured or stressed and that DOES NOT CALM a dog. It’s your body language and their innate desire for cheeseburgers after starving for weeks at a time that did the trick. Quite honestly, these people would spend less hours trying to capture these dogs if these people would just shut up or speak at a sound frequency of Billy Holiday after a cigarette. But that was my informative digression. Now back to the main meat of the situation.
Given the myths/bad habits I’ve mentioned, you can imagine the horrors expressed to outright arguments with me regarding petting a dog in public. It’s particularly amplified in emotion when it comes to their people-fearing rescue dog. They want that dog so badly to just “love” people in a couple of weeks they expose their dogs to big dinner parties with their new shy rescue dog multiple times in a row and then wonder why their dog gets worse, and, inevitably, ends up biting the “biggest dog lover” of the dinner party groups after several meetings. “But they were friends!”
I can go on and on in greater detail about socialization but instead I will give you free information about exactly how you develop proper socialization techniques that will allow your dog to be pet by strangers and friends without destroying your training or causing fear for the dog. Let me just say this: You have to be tough. You have to say NO…a lot…to your friends, to strangers, to children. You have to abort mission if things start going a different direction than you want, even if you gave permission for someone to pet your dog. This is called RESPECTING your dog and where it’s at. That is your job. Not pleasing your friends, not acquiescing to becoming a free petting zoo on the word of a simple compliment, like a hooker turning a trick. The street walker doesn’t want to do what’s coming, but does need the money or the drugs and the brain has been trained to literally turn on a dime on a simple code phrase that sounds like a compliment, but is actually a demand.
Don’t do that to yourself and your dog in the name of teaching your dog to “love” people. But do practice the steps I outline below. If you’ve spent enough months practicing these steps, plus teaching your dog to accept awkward touches and tugs and hugs after mastering these steps, then and only then is it appropriate to let people pet your dog in public…on YOUR COMMAND only by those whom YOU CHOOSE.
May the Training Force Be with You…so your dog isn’t a public jerk.
“Go Visit” Command
Used primarily for film/tv production dogs and therapy dogs. The purpose is to make receiving attention and even affection from others a matter of a “job” or “task” for the owner/handler.
The reasons this trained behavior is useful in pet dogs, especially those with poor socialization habits with people, are the following:
1. The Dog is less self-indulgent and is still aware of the owner/handler’s wishes in the midst of receiving attention and/or affection. This also means that the dog remains calm or, with repetitive practice, becomes calm eventually. In addition, because the dog is always released by the owner/handler from the “visitee” and jackpotted with rewards of affection and even food or toy upon return, the dog’s self-indulgence is kept in check. It is an important skill for a dog to “let go” of a possible reward upon the request of the owner/handler.
2. The Dog is not pressured into making the decision as to the person they are “visiting” is friend or food. Removing the decision-making or discernment process from the dog and placing it squarely on the owner/handler’s shoulders, helps the dog focus on the task and relieves anxiety. This is particularly important for dogs who are anxious or reactive.
3. The Dog learns personal space boundaries. Not only is the dog required to never lean on or cross over the “scrimmage line” of the owner/handler, but the owner/handler purposely shapes the “stopping point” at which a dog may approach a stranger. For very reactive dogs, this may mean the initial space between dog and “visitee” is 5 or more feet. The goal is to have the dog stop a foot away from the “visitee” and sit to wait for interaction.
4. The Dog learns to receive attention and/or affection like petting without become overexcited. During the process of shaping the “go visit” command, but before it is finished, at separate training sessions, the owner/handler must teach or retrain the dog to receive petting “without moving”.
The definition of “without moving” is far more restrictive and specific than just a “stay”. Generally, “stay” means to not move from a position in a specific location. Asking the dog to accept petting without moving includes the stay (sit in this spot on the floor, for instance) but also not moving their head up, to the side, down. It also includes expecting the dog to not wiggle or excessively wag their tail. A slow wag of a tail in an s-shape that lays below the spin is the appropriate response. High-speed wagging or raised wagging is not appropriate.
The result of this training is that the dog learns to accept petting by “melting into place” rather than wiggling in excitement or driving for more dominant spatial invasion without the invitation.
Phase 1:
A. Start the dog at heel, sitting at your side, not in front of you or across your body or behind. If they are not leaning into your personal space or violating the scrimmage line, this is the only time you can give them direct eye contact, which is a reward.
B. Be sure they are not leaning into your space. You should be able to put your leash arm down between you in a relaxed position without your dog touching your arm or hand. If not, move your dog away from you saying “off” and then “good” when they are in a better position.
C. Be sure that your dog minds the line of scrimmage – the front of their shins should not be past the front of your shins, not even one leg. If they are ahead of you, pivot in front of them using your “leash-side” foot as the pivot point while you say “back up”. This is called “crowding” and once they have moved back an inch or two without moving further away, say “good”.
D. Upon eye contact from your dog, holding 4 treats in your hand opposite your “leash hand”, you will indicate to your dog to go forward (leading with the treats) to the extent of your arm length in front of you. At the same time you may say “go visit” or simply use your release word. At the end of your arm’s length in front of you, guide your dog into a sit. You may use the word “sit” as a command at the same time. Upon the sit, you will give the dog just one of the treats. As soon as the dog is chewing the treat, you take your fist of 3 more treats and guide your dog back to your side, saying the word “heel”. You will like need to guide them behind your hip on the “leash-side” and back forward to match up everyone’s shins, aka, the line of scrimmage. Upon the sit at heel, you give three treats in a row (as opposed to all at the same time) like shooting marbles into their mouth right at their mouth. Make sure they are not able to drive their head forward or up to receive the treat; they just open their mouth.
E. Throughout this process you are not to leave the original foot position at which you started. The exception would be in the case of physical strain for a lower back problem, knee problem, et cetera, where you are encouraged to step only one foot forward to bend the knee and brace your arm stretch in front of you.
F. The distance of the visitee (or even no visitee if the dog’s sensitivity requires it) cannot be any closer than a foot at the end of your reach. The visitee should never move, look at or speak to the dog during this phase.
G. When this process has been practiced enough to where the need for treats almost unnecessary, then Phase 2 is applied.
Phase 2:
A. Start the dog at heel, sitting at your side, not in front of you or across your body or behind. If they are not leaning into your personal space or violating the scrimmage line, this is the only time you can give them direct eye contact, which is a reward.
B. Be sure they are not leaning into your space. You should be able to put your leash arm down between you in a relaxed position without your dog touching your arm or hand. If not, move your dog away from you saying “off” and then “good” when they are in a better position.
C. Be sure that your dog minds the line of scrimmage – the front of their shins should not be past the front of your shins, not even one leg. If they are ahead of you, pivot in front of them using your “leash-side” foot as the pivot point while you say “back up”. This is called “crowding” and once they have moved back an inch or two without moving further away, say “good”.
(Note that this is the same as Phase 1…if you are having to still correct more than once this part of the behavior pattern, go back to Phase 1 and do not continue with Phase 2)
D. Tell your dog to “stay” as you hand a treat to the visitee. The visitee should still not speak to or look at the dog. The treat should be held in their fist over their sternum. It’s best the visitee observer with their peripheral vision, meaning they will have their head turned to the side with the chin as parallel to the floor as possible.
E. With 3 treats in your fist, repeat the behavior pattern or sequence of Step D of Phase 1, excepting the following changes: Do not ask the dog to sit, rather wait for the dog to sit. As soon as the dog sits, you will withdraw your hand of treats while the visitee takes the treat in their hand and pop it into the mouth of the dog.
a. If the dog retreats with the handler’s fist of treats, stop using treats for the send out.
b. If the dog retreats from the visitee’s hand approaching their space, let the visitee hand you the treat while your arm is already outstretched for the send out and then feed the dog in the sit position.
c. If you dog growls or shows fear upon the visitee’s hand, then the visitee is encouraged to say calmly “good sit” while the owner/handler feeds the dog in that position.
Follow through with the “heel” and bring the dog back to a sit position next to owner/handler and jackpot the reward. Do as much as possible to marry the eye contact, verbal praise and food as all intertwined. This allows the owner/handler to eventually remove food from the whole process.
F. When this is practiced enough that the dog willing takes a treat from the visitee without eye contact or petting, then you can move to the Phase 3. If there is regression, go back to Phase 1.
Phase 3:
A. The send out is exactly the same as Phase 2 except for these following changes:
a. The visitee asks for the sit. Then as part of the reward, the visitee says good boy and gives the treat as a reward.
b. Upon repetition as the dog is ready, the visitee will ask for the sit and give eye contact before the treat is given as a reward.
c. The final goal in this phase is that the owner/handler fakes giving a treat to the visitee at the start and the visitee can ask for the sit if the dog does not offer it immediately. The visitee gives only praise and eye contact.
B. During this phase, it is important that the dog is not called for “heel” by the owner/handler until the visitee removes their eye contact, stands straight and turns their body slightly away with the fist (with or without treat) is against the sternum.
C. The owner/handler is still to jackpot the return on heel; treat use should be continued.
Phase 4:
A. Send out the dog to “go visit”, passing a treat to the visitee.
B. Visitee must ask for the sit if the dog does not automatically do so and the visitee must reward the dog with praise, no eye contact and then extend hand for petting at the chest or under the chin. Preferably the visitee will lean to the side rather than over the top of the dog.
C. Upon repetition and success by the dog, the visitee eventually gives either eye contact with the above petting, or no eye contact with the hand working towards the jowl line and eventually the top of the head. The choice is based on what the dog accepts more readily. The goal is that the visitee can give eye contact and direct petting on the head without the dog getting overexcited or fearful.
D. When the dog is successful of all the above, practice returning the dog to heel while the visitee is still interacting with the dog. The heel should still be jackpotted with affection and treats.
E. Final step is that the dog no longer needs treats from either the visitee or the handler.
If at any time during these 4 Phases that the dog aggresses or tries to make contact, it is best the visitee becomes an inanimate, upright and may only move to turn away from the dog. The owner/handler must body block between the dog and the visitee and say “heel” at the same time to walk away. At this point, the dog is likely to be too excited to recover and the exercise of “go visit” should be abandoned. If a crate is nearby, the dog should be crated.
Be sure to practice this indoors in various places, as well as just outside in a controlled environment and eventually in public places like parks. This is a multi-month process to master.